Squirrely

Squirrels with their tiny doll hands.

Squirrels think they're so smart because they can flick those puffy tails.

They lock eyes with me in my mind. They are getting those eggs. Those are my eggs. Go eat nuts or whatever else you eat.

Lay off my eggs. Ha, get it. LAY OFF

I'm in a battle. 24 hens, and only two eggs yesterday. They took advantage of me, because I was working and couldn't guard the henhouse.

I'm here today. There will be explosives.

Watch your asses, squirrels. Me against squirrel nation.

At the Speed of Maggie

Maggie the new horse is reliable as crap, which is amazing since she's only 5 and we've only had her 10 mos. But she's a worker, she just walks right into anything you point her toward, she's ready to explore. That's why today was surprising.

Today we were heading back through the woods after going through the water, and when you turn her to go back she does turn slightly into a 5 year old horse, with more speed and a yippee attitude. I was ponying Dewey behind us and we were on the sort of bushy woods part of the trail and I don't know if she got poked in the stomach by a stick or if Dewey bumped her too much from behind all I know is one minute she was walking along and the next minute we were rocketing forward at the speed of light. The world, when surprised and on horseback at suddenly high speed, is a carnival ride. Time blurs upwards, and everything feels like it's upside down. I lost Dewey's rope, because we were hurtling forward and all I thought was what's going on, oh crap, Dewey is going to come zooming behind us, I will be in a steeplechase. I also thought hey Maggie has a really smooth canter. I also thought shit how do I stop this thing.

All this happened in about 3 or 4 strides of her running. Then I got her stopped (always a miracle, especially if you're still on top of the horse). And I looked back and there was Dewey just standing in the bushes where his rope dropped. Relaxed. The perfect gentleman.

I don't know why horses have to be idiotic, they just are. I got off Mags and got on Dewey since it was time to switch, riding back home. Maggie was fine and silly the rest of the ride home. She likes to bite at Dewey when we're going down hill so I spent a lot of time trying to hit her in the face when she tried to nip.  But even that is business as usual.

On the way back in I saw Lisa my  trail buddy and we held our arms over our heads in victory at seeing each other on the trail. The universal Life Is So Good on Horses greeting. I also saw our preschool neighbor friends, even though our kids are all more than 10 years past preschool. It's a good way to see the neighborhood, nothing but happiness comes when you ride by on a horse.

I figure I've done about 280 rides on Maggie in 10 mos. She's had about 3 times she's done something idiotic. So she gets to be 5 years old sometimes. Pretty good odds.

The Horses Lead Us to Everything

The horses lead us to everything.

They lead us to the new girl who is renting the guest house next door. She came to ride and fell in love with the magical forest we rode in.

Now she lives next door, and takes long walks with our older son, in the twilight, like it's the 1880's, and they're a young couple.

They lead us to the water, where all the troubles are dumped out and washed downstream. I come back from the trail, cleaned out and ready for more.

Farmland and French Fries

Today was the last day of summer even though it's only August 14th and some idiot thinks that's now the beginning of fall.

I took Bess and Becky to the beach, the only willing volunteers.  Bess is a beginner surfing maniac, and it turns out when you take Becky the dog and both get in the water, she is a surfing maniac too. Not to be left on the beach, she charged right in with us and swam and attempted to surf. Which meant I had to stay in the pretty shallow water until she got tired out so she didn't drown in her enthusiasm to not be left behind.

Seeing the dog tossed about, and leaping over waves, and seeing the 10 year old almost fifth grader managing the surfboard that is feet longer than she is, in her mini wetsuit, with her long California blonde hair and summer tan - and the ocean herself, washing machine tumultuous, full of sand and freezing and churning us up - this was our last grasp of summer. We played knowing there was frozen yogurt directly afterward, our tradition. French fries and farmland waiting as we drove home, our tradition. Swimming and hair washing and the long night before school ahead.

I'm not sorry I spent the summer with my babies, the tall and the short, the four leggeds and the furry. I got to see them sprout surfer's legs, I got to wrestle through the heat and the boredom of long days. The real reason for summer is to give your mind that long stretch off, to think nothing, to find other things to do, books to read, skies to watch, cousins to sift through, water to float on and contemplate your life.

This is as important as AP classes. It may in fact be the Real World. The fertile soil and the tan skin and the French fries on the way home.

No More Fat Chicks

So a fat lady rode my horse and now he's limping. She wasn't fat really, just she must have had bones the size of those big round poster tubes. If I had ten more of her I could have a killer football team. I have no idea how many guys are on a football team. She was a hard cardboard poster limbed giant, 5'11 (which I used to be til I shrank to the shrimp boat 5'10 that I am and my six foot son looks down on me. In every way.) But wait back to the lumbering giant.

I kind knew we weren't perfect for each other because on her website she makes candles and she quoted some bible verse from the Cornelius or the corndogs or something. Homemade candle making church giant. But she had $35 dollars and she wanted to come give it to me, she was in fact kind of insisting and I was just gonna take my horse over to the arena anyway, might as well get paid to do what I do for free.

I had in the back of my mind this thought: your horse will be flattened. Your round stomached, pin legged horse who is built for racetracks and tiny baby chick sized men in the Kentucky Derby is not going to like to heft around God's chosen heavyweight. But $35 dollars kept sounding so good, and it was hot and I was tired. And I like to meet these weird horse people who hand me money and then entertain me with their psychosis while the horses and I just listen and walk our dusty trails just the same.

This month so far it's been Courtney, who's finishing up at USC and has flossed her mind into a nice, sanitary situation where there is no original thought. But at least she weighed like nothing. And then there was Andi whom I liked because she told me about thru_rider on Instagram who is a badass girl riding the PCT trail alone with two horses up to Canada from Arizona. But Andi never came back, andi, why? She was too smart for me. Then there's Amelia, a tiny Australian with a bawdy sense of humor who likes to knock back a few and sells pet medication out of her car. Amelia and I are the shit. She's come three times in a row.

But I got this huge mom on Dewey, and she had no idea what she was doing, but I did what I do best, which is pretend she was the best rider ever. Because really, when people get on my big horse, they relax, and slow down, and that's what I'm here for. To spread that Dewey peace.

It was dark when we got all untacked and done, but the money was in my pocket, and my kids are expensive so that helps. It feels good to get paid for something that feeds your heart. But then this morning there is Dewey holding his foot carefully out like he's been speared, and giving me the tired eye like 35 dollars? Really Jule?

I will respect my meaty horse with the delicate ankles of a 9 year old figure skater. No more fat chicks.

Me Napped

Maybe when the sheep left he blew a hole in my perfect world. Things are less busy, sheep wise, and more busy, busy-wise.

Teaching and arranging and conducting in class and after class. Large teenagers striding around, helping keep the house running. We have mighty house, and staff is required. I think they are looking forward to getting out, because that's part of it, isn't it, growing up, wanting to run your own life and stay on your computer or phone as long as you want. I guess you know you're doing it right if your kids are looking forward to all the things they get to unwrap in their upcoming lives.

I can't look at too much of it without a magnifying glass, but where is my heart in all this. Parts of it are huge and overused and parts of it are shrunken and weak. Some of us are just standing around in there wondering when the fire was.

I'm rushing around in my life because I don't understand where all of this is going. Why is it going, and where do I fit?

With the horses I understand. There are steps, and elementary education is happening, and they are simple and furry, and dopey and genuine. Also huge and I must be a lion at times to be heard and understood. I guess not that different from my real human life.

When I finish a book like I just did, and send it to the agent then there's this gap and I try not to fall down. I start looking around and avoiding writing the next thing. I go and see old friends and they make me remember who I am and I miss her, even though I am in her.

My life has run away with me.

One Sheep to the Wind

Well our old buddy Travis went to live with a lonely donkey. Is there really any more to say?

He has two acres of weeds to get started on, so I'm sure he's hitching up his (wool) pants and getting directly to work.

Dewey called to him when we walked him to the guy's car, and hefted him up inside the back seat of the station wagon. Travis did not look back. He was very happy with the cheerios and the hay I had put in there for him.

I was subbing with a class later, and kept staring into space, hearing Dewey calling to him and feeling his heart breaking into a million pieces.

Dewey loved Travis from the minute he came home. A gentle big brother, always sharing all the hay. Travis loved Dewey too. They kept each other good company until he got Maggie.  So now Travis was free to take his friendship skills to the next lonelyheart.

Also he had to go because he had started butting people when he wasn't getting his way. A sheep's skull is a serious weapon, dude. Especially when aimed at the human nut area.

I used to complain at him everyday for busting into the barn when I'd open the door, or just being a general busybody. Now the barn is quiet and smaller without him. But it's not bad, it's just different.  I'm glad he has his weeds, and he's got a new friend and a family that will love him, and the space to be a sheep. Grazing all day.

When you make the heart of a horse eased by your fluff and your weaving through his legs, you have done a loving thing, Travis. For being there. You gave Dewey a year, and he is grateful and changed because of you.

One Small Step for Mag Kind

For all of you riveted by my progress with one small dapply buckskin mare, aged 4, Maggie is learning to trot. Julie is learning to not be afraid of her, which seems to help a great deal! Maybe it's learning to ask for what you want, in the kindest way, and then get tougher until she understands what it is you're cueing her for. Then she does it.

The first time I asked her trot under saddle she did and then slammed on the brakes and started biting  me and then moving backwards at high speed. That was way long ago. That caused me to only walk her for like a month as I built up confidence and worked with her outside the arena and on the lunge and tried to get her knowing that the cue to GO means forward, not slamming in reverse.

The second time I asked her to trot off the lunge, under saddle, was a few days ago, and she still tried to argue with me, but after about half an hour, she started trotting at my voice, leg and crop cue. After almost an hour, I got her to make one lap around the arena.

Today I had her usual resistance at first, but after about 20 mins, she was trotting at my leg cue much better. We did a few lopsided laps, but they were laps! Posting even! I could feel her kind of see that we can work together, nothing bad happens. We will work on rhythm, just getting her to go and accept the cue was my goal. We'll get her steady. I have to always quit before I want to, because I want to end on a good note. It's hard to know when that is all the time. When is enough.

It makes me happy, though, on days when I'm burned out from teaching and all the noise, to have the horses to work with. It fills me in tactile and problem solving ways. And I like to see the results come creeping in, and I like to see who I can be and what I can do. They're big furry kids, and they're peaceful, mostly. A tiny bit bratty, but willing.

I also walked them separately back home, and they were yelling like long lost lovers. But once they get used to it, that should help them to know nobody dies if they're not together. It's the one that's left behind who has the biggest sadness.

Mother Teacher Daughter Horse

My current obsessions are when will I get time to write my Carrie Fisher thing, and what is it exactly I am writing.

And subbing non-stop. And then mothering after subbing, when I get home and I'm fresh, oh yes, with ringing ears from kids high-pitched voices, and organizing and looking intelligent (stress LOOKING, not being).

And then riding, because I like the routine of training, and the quietness of the horses, even the asshole one that is new and likes to be a baby and chew on everything, and eat everything on the trail, and not trot when I want her to but then okay she does. I still like the work of it, because it is just me, and we can only go really one speed, and it isn't very fast.

And the roses I get to see blooming, and the little Buddha statue we pass with the purple flowers now around it, and I breathe when I see it because it is calming, and the sky was wide open cracked with grey clouds and sunshine with sharp edges, and nobody was crazy, just me out there quiet and knowing the world was still here, all in one place and silent.

Then it's okay if the dishes have to put away, and then I can handle going to the mall so my youngest can get her first pairs of earrings, because it's two days away from when she gets to change her earrings for the first time. And this is worth spending time on, because it's the first time, and this is life.

All of it, every second, being there.

Knit Wit

So I couldn't find anyone to shear my sheep since I live in LOS ANGELES and people WORK FOR A LIVING like in little cubicles, here, so I just got some scissors and four blisters and some serious skin rubbed off my hand later, I have a fairly sheared sheep who now hates me. I only cut him one time, but it did look pretty gruesome.

Travis is one year old, and he had started looking like who's that black dude with the afro, Larry King? Rodney King? Wait, somebody King, from the 70's. Anyway, he was looking SWEATY.

So now he's baa baa black sheep haven't any wool, and I have two bags full. I decided what the hell do I do with the wool, so I looked up "what to do with wool" and you wouldn't believe the huge amounts of terrible and useless things they showed pictures of. First was the animal rights sites that said sheep are being skin stripped which okay I'm not doing that but suddenly I had to SEE and can't UNSEE that. Travis is about as far from that demise as he can get, since he likes to sometimes wander into the house. Then I see that if you want to spin wool into a sweater (which I don't), you have to wash it, a bunch of times in a kettle, rinse it, dry it, pick it apart, pick all the dirt out (it would take hours  just to pick apart ONE piece of wool, let alone two bags full), comb it out and then you have chunks of wool that you can make into ugly decorations that none of your friends would want.

Like wool coasters. Or a wool wreath. Or you can do a bunch of other junk to it where the end result is buying the Sleeping Beauty spinning wheel and making it into actual yarn to actually knit. I am a knitter but I barely even want to pick up the sticks in my hands to knit WITH,  so I see the joy in getting the yarn already colored and clean and ready in strings at the store.

But I am not ready to throw out the dirty wool. I may wash it just to say I did, and I may pick it apart on some day that I really don't want to do something more boring like clean the house or play with the kids. heh. Then I could make a pillow or a comforter for the dog or something. Right?

But then, can you WASH that? Things that are all natural are like, way more complicated. They wear like sandals and have goatees and wear their shorts kinda baggy and ride bikes in the rain.

I just want to say that my natural inclination is to zip it into an old sleeping bag and say there ya go. Instant dirty comforter. DO NOT UNZIP.

Little Drops of Water

Something weird is happening lately. I am actually enjoying riding.

I think falling off those years ago took so long to heal up the fear. And then adding a new horse whom I assumed would cause me years of torment (but I did it anyway) has been work, but after 2 1/2 months of working with her almost every day, I'm starting to know her, and relax.

Today on the trail I ponied her and rode Dewey and then on the way back, I got off him, got on her and rode a tiny bit. Then switcheroo again. Then when we were back on the little secret path I got back on her, and ponied him, and she is sleeker, more like a hot rod convertible than huge thick lumbering Dewey.

I had to think cautiously, I've never ponied Dewey, she's only 4 years old, new to everything, she's never ponied a horse either, so I picked my spots carefully, and I kept the rides short where she was the leader. The good thing about being careful is that you set yourself up for success. There's nothing wrong with little tiny steps. The Carrie Fisher song:

Little drops of water
Little grains of sand
Make the mighty oceans
And the pleasant lands

All I know is it is nice to see the flowers and see the butterflies and be riding a horse who isn't afraid, and to be helping the new horse learn her place and her job, and because of all this work eventually I'll have a friend along with me in the saddle, and riding will be even more fun because there will be chatter and company, and safety in numbers, comfort for both Dewey and I. He's so happy to have a friend in the barn and on the trail, it's like he sighs with the relief of company.

Maggie does like to see if she can be in charge each day - she will do what you say, but she's just askin. She is happy to be with Dewey, and see the scenery. And having a young horse to work with and teach all the cues to, and learn her likes and dislikes, and try and mold her into just a regular quiet old trail horse - this has made me a mostly humorous, stronger rider, which has made Dewey a better horse. Now I just ask him clearly for what I want, and he's happy to do it, where before I was slightly always terrified. Since Maggie is more hardheaded, I've had to be super tough, and it's changed my riding. Even though with her I also have to be very light with legs and hands, since at her age, she's just learning balancing a rider, moving forward happily and learning some rhythm. We're still only at a walk with a rider on, I figure I'll get her happy going forward at all gaits on the lunge, and happy going forward at the walk and then stick a few small trots in there when I think she will be willing and not slam on the brakes. (Her favorite trick.)

Okay, that's Mag and Dew news. I am fresh from being outdoors and exploring, even just the neighborhood trails. I feel good that I'm building up for the only other thing she'll have to do, which is take us down to the water and enjoy the wilderness of Hansen Dam. She's been there once!

Neigh borly

I was playing with the Mags and Dewey out front on the street, because it had gotten too boring in the arena and I like to get on scary and green/untrained horses while riding on cement for the extra head trauma.

Dewey has a sore foot so he just stood there basically while I got Maggie used to being outside on a street where she had never been and in the saddle I have to let my body loose like I'm completely relaxed and giving and no problem when in reality I'm completely opposite of that, like every minute of every day in every way.

But it works for her, she doesn't know complexity, she only knows body language, so my body speaks to hers and we're doing allright. I even feel allright.

A neighbor comes out and talks to me, he's the guy who usually rides his bike around, like we're in Seattle. I like him. He's more of an activist, there is stuff on his lawn that says No on This or Save this Thing, someone who thinks more in an outward way, and I'm grateful for people like that who use their lawn for stuff I never think about. I'd much rather just lay on the lawn and look at the clouds. We have clouds right now because we've had rain.

Anyway, just try working in a new spot, when you get stuck. You might meet somebody new, and someday you might actually feel your own body language. If you can get that far. I hope I do.

One Trick Pony

So my dumbass new horse decides she's done with riding as soon as I get on her. Her new trick is to flatten her ears, try to kick me while I'm in the saddle, and then back up scarily. Of course I get off when she does this, and she's so happy she learned a way for me to get off immediately.

So I read up on what to do with this new pleasure-filled experience, and it says it's common for young horses to be assholes, basically, when they don't know what you want, and then once they do know what you want, they will be assholes. Especially mares.

Hmm. Today I set Maggie up in the little back paddock with a chair and had a nice talking to her. Just kidding. I put the chair as my mounting block, and I took my time putting my weight on her, and taking my foot in and out of the stirrup, leaning on her, flapping her stirrups, and finally getting on and then right off. I did it a few times until she didn't look like she was going to try and launch me spaceballs up. The last time, I just got on and then sat there. My goal was to sit there and not ask her to move, just sit there and see if she'd be good with just THAT step.

I sat there for minutes. Then I lifted the reins a little bit. Just so she could see that nothing bad was going to happen, and we weren't going anywhere. Then got off and took saddle off and done. Then I took her for a walk with Dewey on the close trail, the 5th time. She did better, only one spook that kind of spooked Dewey and I thought here's where I die but it was okay. She used to stop many times going out, but today she only tried it about 4 times before I got on Dewey and then only one or two times once riding. I say that's improvement. Now that I know that's normal, I don't get mad. I just get her going again and ignore it.

Tomorrow I'll try to start some of the games on the ground, to get her respecting me a bit more. In the afternoon today I took her out in the driveway and ground drove her around, in and out the gate. She was NOT going for it - she does fine for awhile, then has a little fit like I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT and she tries to push her way past me and turn and evade me like a wriggly thousand pound fish, and I'm not all that good with steering on the ground so it took me a few times to get her re-aimed, but I was resolved that she would walk in and out of the gate without being an asshole before I'd quit for the day. By the end, she was walking in and out like it was the most boring thing in the world, like she was punching a clock. I put her away, happy she did what I asked but also knowing that it was only today. She was clearly doing me a favor, in her mind. We are a long way from her being boring every time. She does LIKE the challenge, though. I see it in her. Because she doesn't try to do anything really mean. She's scary, because she's big and silly and I don't know her, but it's only been a month. Pretty soon I will know all her tricks, and be able to manage her better, and guide her to her best self. I hope. I did today, anyway, for 5 minutes. Or maybe almost an hour total.

She is a really kind horse around the barn. She just has to learn her job, and that she has tasks, and that it can be easy or it can be hard. That's the part she's learning now.

Dewey is okay with being the forgotten horse. He was a good leader on the trail, and doesn't mind her sneezing all over him. He's okay with me steering with my legs and butt as I haul her with my other hand, and it's good practice. Who knew I had a lower body.

You Herd Right

I like the day where nothing bad happens.

Today I took the new Maggie mare out with Dewey the wonder horse. It's only our fourth time together out on our little close trail, and 3rd time ponying.

Reading and using ideas on training has really helped, especially with being patient. Today she did really well, she's settled into knowing her job. She still likes to stop a few times on the way out, I'd say maybe 6 times today. But now I stop Dewey and tug on her halter and she starts back up. I'd like to figure a way to start her back up that will translate better to when I'm in the saddle, so I chirped to her at the same time as tugging a few of the times. I think turning Dewey and going back for her would help, but I don't really want to turn around the Dewey barge, it's hard enough just to figure out how to stay on him while leading her.

Luckily I practiced stopping a few times, just to get that cue in, and rested and had them learn to just stand and relax, listening to the nature sounds. It gave me time to see that her halter had half pulled off over her ear (yikes) so I got to fix that and disaster averted. Hey, it's like I'm learning and thinking. And taking time to stop is actually a good thing. What is the rush, dude.

I'm also happy to learn how to hold my body differently - since I'm riding one-handed, I have to give with my Dewey hand or he lifts his head like ouch stop pulling my face. So I'm realizing I can use my legs a lot more, to move him over to the side, to anchor myself. My right hand is all focused on the mare, and making sure she stays with us. Using the whole body is crazy, it makes me see how I usually carry my entire self up in my throat. A nice fear and tension party up there, and all of me is invited.

Anything that helps me slow down, melt back down into my body, breathe and try and relax and even enjoy the (harrowing) process is good. It's the newness that is scary - not knowing her well yet, and being scared that she'll do something I can't handle, or cause a chain reaction in Dewey...But today I was thinking as I rode, that horses just want to go forward, at a relaxed pace. They are not in a rush. They will be just as happy as me to have an uneventful ride. Me being the boss mare doesn't mean pre-worrying about things. I sit deep, trust my horse, look out for danger, and trust my horse. And feel peace!

Luckily, I have worked with Dewey for 4 yrs straight, until we were so sick and bored of each other that it was finally time for the right young mare to come into our lives. So she has a spot, and Dewey gets to be the older brother, not perfect, but he's comfortable with the trail, he knows it, I don't ask him to do too much. I figure the more simple we keep it, the better the chance for all of us to get used to going out together, and already she's more respectful on the lead, and will learn to not stop! And I get to use my Dewey skills, more leg, trust, more rein, trust. He's happy to just amble along, and their paddock is so muddy right now, it's much better out on the trial, moving their bodies without slopping through the mud.

Once I get Maggie used to the close trail and the long trail, I'll bring Becky back out with us, and our trail team will be complete. Becky can't come til I have another butt in the saddle and I don't have to pony the mare.

I'm glad she had a good start, with people who handled her right. She came to us not afraid of things, and generally loved. She got out maybe once a month with them. Here she gets brushed at least once a day, worked with once a day, lots of attention, and a buddy horse who is happy to have her.

She's not as worried when he's out of her sight anymore - yesterday we were ground driving right here in the driveway, and I even started going out front on the gravel road, just to get them used to being worked separately. Have to do it in small lessons, since they are definitely attached and call to each other. But the one being worked is always happier than the one being left behind. Tomorrow I'll do more ground driving, or maybe get her under saddle a bit in the arena. I'm doing ground work/arena/turnout, individual work in driveway and then walks on trail, every other day. Variety. She also has a snotty nose and cough, so keeping an eye on it. But she is perky and happy to go out. A very mellow and kind girl, her energy is good for Dewey. She's a lot like him. She's not worried about much.

I can't imagine it yet, since I'm in the kindergarten area with her still, but I'm putting in the work to make her a quiet, listening horse, who is happy to take relaxing rides with me and my kids. I'm putting in the turn signals, and the brakes, and showing her the surroundings, and eventually it'll be me and one of my kids out there, enjoying the trail like she was born this way none of this work ever happened.

I am happy that Travis the sheep has been here a year, and helped Dewey have company until we got Maggie in. He belongs to the barnyard, and Dewey loves him, but now that he has Maggie he's less anxious about Travis. I think a horse likes his own kind, and likes a small herd to belong to. Lifelong process, this learning animal behavior, riding, manners, being a bossy leader, all of it.

Put the Mad on Hold

I love working with the new pony. Once I realized she was just young, and not being an asshole, it gave me a sense of humor, and some patience. I figure, only a year or so ago, she was just a baby frolicking around in a field. So now she's here, and she's mine, so how best can I use her curiosity and work ethic, and also put the mad on hold, when I get frustrated if she's not understanding what I want her to do, and just give her a second. Or figure out what it is she's trying to figure out, and help her achieve it. Horses are a lot easier than teenage sons. But maybe Maggie can help me to remember that only a few years ago, he too was frolicking around in a field. Now there's this whole one year away from college. Preparing him, helping him. The world is new to all of us.

Teenage boy and baby horse

In With the New

So there's this new horse. She's young, sassy, solid, and silly. Part of me is broken off and floating somewhere nearby with the stress of working again with a young and way different new horse. But part of me is 4 years older from having worked with Dewey all that time, and able to slow down, give her a chance, and correct her when she's being a fruitcake. Without getting mad. (have not totally accomplished this yet.) Maggie is from Oregon, buttermilk colored, like a giant dog with love and a wagging tail. She is also exactly like the sheep - busting into to whatever you're doing, saying PICK ME PICK ME when going to work with her, but then when actually working has the attention span of an amphetamine addict jumping on a trampoline. But I do LIKE the old girl. For some reason. She lets Dewey boss her around. She's pretty bright about not freaking out at new things, she is half angel half devil. I have to remember that she is still a youngster who wants to play and eat everything including me at times. This is part of her charm. She will become a horse that will turn right and left, and stop, and walk calmly on a leadrope. She will be able to cart me and our kids around safely and sanely. She is already making Dewey very happy just to have a buddy who is an actual horse, near him at night in the barn when he must have been very dark and lonely, on his little empty horse planet. I just have to survive it, and sometimes stop trying so hard, and love instead. Maybe in all areas, moms.