There Must Be a Pony

 I am learning so much from little Meriwether.

It turns out that it doesn't matter the size of the horse, they still want to know what you're doing and if it involves carrots.

I guess like all of us, he's just on the six month, 400 pound level, he is wary of new things, and wants to be sure what you're doing will make him feel better (brushing) or fill up his stomach. I would brush him while he was eating so he wouldn't care what I was doing and he'd get used to being handled withtout worry. That seems to be working. He likes to follow me around even when his belly is full, because at 6 mos and 400 pounds, you want to know where the girl is going with the bucket on wheels full of shit. Maybe it's a good place. It's movement anyway.

He is a big kid. He puts his face directly into tarps. He plays with beach balls. He sniffs the dogs. He loves running flat out and spazzing his little legs out into the sky. He lies directly flat out in the sun to soak in the earth. He is fluffiest on the top of his neck. He loves scratches all over, and he has spots.

I think maybe I am 14 again every time I get a horse. I like to learn them, and study them, and smell them and wrap my arms around them. I like setting boundaries and growing a good sensible horse. I like showing them as much as possible to give them a solid mind. I like the sun dappling on them at 4 in the afternoon when everything feels mostly accomplished and we can sit back and feel joy and wonder at life.

This little baby came on my son's birthday, at 2 in the morning. My parents said why do you need another horse.

I never thought about why

My mom is dying

My kids are going off to college

My husband is getting older

My house needs work

My littlest daughter is growing up

Meriwether came to distract me from that

With him I can shape something. I can grow something. I can laugh at antics. I can connect to a brain. I can feel softness with my hands. I can learn a new thing. I can do something I haven't done before.

Aren't those the main reasons for living?

I have a place for my love. I have a vast capacity, seems a shame not to channel it somewhere I can see tangible results in a pretty short time. Four legged results. 

Meriwether has to do with the sun, and the dirt, and the newness of things. He keeps me outdoors at a time when things are too close, closing in. He gives me a reason to go out. Scratch the pony. Build a bond.

Meriwether reminds me who I am, and what I'm best at.

Special Delivery

We got a new pony delivered at two in the morning after a late night Dodger Game hobbling on a broken toe. Also it was the wee hours of Aug 19th, the day my son was born 21 years ago. Also my son was there.

That's some pretty sweet shit. When the guy pulled up finally, 12 hours behind schedule, he didn't get out of the truck which I thought was weird. He said the halter's in the back, and it took me awhile to figure out if it was in the truck or where and then he told me to go ahead and get the baby out. 

It's weird to go into someone else's trailer, it's like you wouldn't just open anyone's trunk especially someone you've only met twice, when he delivered horses 5 and 2 years ago. I open up the back and there's the little white baby deer, Meriwether, looking at me like oh hey I was wondering where you were all my life. All his four month life.

He jumps right out of the trailer and we can't believe how tiny he is, this is the first horse I've been up close to so little as my actual horse with tiny baby feet and soft baby fur. 

Then the guy is coming around the trailer and he's pushing a WALKER, and can barely WALK. I feel so bad that I was mad how late he was, and the last time he delivered a horse it was on Christmas morning, at like 3 am, and I even gave him a tip like, thanks for being late AND ruining Christmas. But then how many times do you get a horse delivered on Christmas. 

I think maybe this is the last time he's delivering horses for me. First because next time he'd be in a wheelchair apparently, and b because I'm only going to pick up my own horses from now on, I can see the truck and trailer section of my life is about to begin. My horsemanship is growing, I've evolved. 

Also I don't need any more horses. But it is addictive.

So Meri has been with us two weeks almost. He is a thoughtful, loving, funny, fluffy little guy. I was worried the guy had to next go pick up a draft horse and drive it to New Jersey. A draft horse is like a truck and trailer all on its own, and this guy can't even walk well. I hoped he would be okay.

My little wispy Meriwether is poking around loftily, not knowing that he has landed in the softest spot in the universe. 

Just like Nathan did, 21 years ago. I still have him, too.

anew

 Man, haven't been on here in awhile.

The horses have been less write-worthy, because they are serving a purpose which is ride me away from dementia mom care. So there's no time to write when you're deep in the jungle by the creek or out in the barn brushing a little bit of dust off.

Life is all functiony out there, that's the miracle. Things need water, and things need attention. 

Lately I've been looking at getting a foal because maybe things need to start anew. I've never done anew. It might a nice.

Or maybe we should go to Europe.

Or both.