Dangle

 I stand in water. Well the horse stands in water and my feet dangle above. 

Water and creek with jungle plants all around. I ride to go stand in water and then I ride back and then everything seems better.

The horses have not ever told me one thing.

They just go where I go because usually the place we end up is a good place, and I always bring them back to a safe place to eat. Home.

They're happy with the journey.

They take my drowned heart and we go to the water and release it into the muck and it swims around regenerating til healed and then we walk back new and this lasts at least 24 hours. I am not healed all the way through. But I am comforted, and the sun feels good, and the horses smell good, and my feet dangle.

This is important for a tall person.

Listen

I'm riding with this insane person well he's just left of insane, he's definitely in the turn lane heading toward it. He's been riding with me 2 months straight with his horse, and riding with me and my horses since August, so like six mos.

There is something about this relationship, where I never look at him, we are never face to face, in fact that would be weird. We are a voice either in front or behind, sometimes next to. We are always running, lately, we are trying out running with thundering fast feet under our own dangly ones.

I didn't run this much on my horse as a kid, and I certainly never ran this much using my own body.

There is something about the feel of the air with this companion and these horses, that dares us to just go. It's a certain meshing of safety, chaos, logic, dare, exhilaration, fright, happiness. I never pressed this level on my horse, it is a new level. He is much more comfortable at this level than I am but he has never sat in a hospital with a broken pelvis and ribs.

I am liking who I am, and how the world is shaping up around me. I am aware that I must do more to further my path. I must indeed hack away at all the weeds, even the scratchy mean ones, which is just the part of me that I don't use the most. That's what it is, with this new riding level, it is untried, so it is silent and huge and scary. I should realize that I am slogging through this world and it is all here for me, to pick through, and remember and choose my path and doggedly and faithfully be myself.
And listen.