I'm Not the Only One Who's Nuts

The f**ing squirrels. It isn't enough that they raid my chicken house. They started eating the chicks. Not eating them like, cleaning their plate and leaving a nice tip. They just eat the head off. They leave it for me to find, like a calling card. Like a challenge. Like WE DID THIS. What are you going to do about it? So now they're caged in behind wire at night. And then I start checking my chicken house a billion times so I can get the eggs before they do. I plug every hole, so they can't get in. I open the door and there's a chicken on the nest doing her low warning crrrrrrrr when she sees me and there in front of her is a dumbass squirrel just waiting there with his tail twitching, he's just standing there like he's at the drive thru. He knows his food is coming. Dammit! So I put poison under the tack room and blocked all the holes there and there should be a serious Jonestown going on under there with I hope every squirrel on earth. Today I walked out and no death. First thing in the morning. Chicks all safe. Now to tackle the flea issue. Maybe animals are the dumbest thing to do. But the eggs are good. And the dog is good company. But we could have gone to Europe on the time I've spent problem solving out here. But we live here. So I made living here as fully invested in the land as I could. Earth is solid. Living things are lively. Flea bombs now. Europe later. Send me a postcard and a Xanax, cause that's the future of air travel for me.