The Buck Stops Here

How do I ever get my confidence back if my stupid horse keeps bucking? Dewey has been so great, we've been having such a good time that I started going out on the trail by myself, walk trot cantering, and I haven't been completely secure, but secure enough to attempt it, and we've done really well. Then I go out with Lisa the other day and Dewey gives a few little bucks going into the canter, so I pull him back and we do the rest of the trail, and then we're going up a hill at the end of the ride and decide to canter again, and I kind of knew he wasn't in a good frame of mind, his nose way up in the air, his trot was sucking, and then Lisa starts to canter, and Dewey is too frolicky, and he just LAUNCHES his back end up in the hugest buck, and I fly upwards, looking down and seeing my stirrups empty, like a flung chicken, and then I land on his neck and think what the hell am I doing here, and luckily he bucks only two short ones and I have jerked him back to a stop and gotten my seat again and I am pissed. I'm pissed because I've come so far with this horse, and I am not 14 yrs old anymore, and I don't want to fall off. I don't want to ride this kind of horse doing this kind of behavior. He is the tallest horse, which makes his buck powerful, but also he is slow moving, mostly, which makes it easier to stay on. But I don't want to even HAVE the CHANCE to perfect my buck sitting. So after two days now of not ever wanting to ride again, I'm thinking well I just have to either make it thru this teenager horse situation, or just not ride. I have to sell the horse, or work through it, I have to use my friend Clare the rider to help me through it, help teach him not to do it -- he might do it forever, or he might only do it til he learns he can't do it. It's just hard to reprimand the horse when you're flying in the air. I haven't decided what to do. If I had the money, I would probably buy a Quarter horse, and just ride trails without ever having to worry again. For now I'll see what the next few weeks bring, but now I have to be ultra careful again, and learn to sit deep, be firm, improve myself. I like training Dewey, I just get tired of training instead of riding. Was really enjoying just riding lately. I just have kids, so I can't die. Riding is supposed to be fun, not all work. I can see that I will be soon have a little mini horse, and be driving all over the neighborhood instead of riding.