Me Napped

Maybe when the sheep left he blew a hole in my perfect world. Things are less busy, sheep wise, and more busy, busy-wise.

Teaching and arranging and conducting in class and after class. Large teenagers striding around, helping keep the house running. We have mighty house, and staff is required. I think they are looking forward to getting out, because that's part of it, isn't it, growing up, wanting to run your own life and stay on your computer or phone as long as you want. I guess you know you're doing it right if your kids are looking forward to all the things they get to unwrap in their upcoming lives.

I can't look at too much of it without a magnifying glass, but where is my heart in all this. Parts of it are huge and overused and parts of it are shrunken and weak. Some of us are just standing around in there wondering when the fire was.

I'm rushing around in my life because I don't understand where all of this is going. Why is it going, and where do I fit?

With the horses I understand. There are steps, and elementary education is happening, and they are simple and furry, and dopey and genuine. Also huge and I must be a lion at times to be heard and understood. I guess not that different from my real human life.

When I finish a book like I just did, and send it to the agent then there's this gap and I try not to fall down. I start looking around and avoiding writing the next thing. I go and see old friends and they make me remember who I am and I miss her, even though I am in her.

My life has run away with me.

One Sheep to the Wind

Well our old buddy Travis went to live with a lonely donkey. Is there really any more to say?

He has two acres of weeds to get started on, so I'm sure he's hitching up his (wool) pants and getting directly to work.

Dewey called to him when we walked him to the guy's car, and hefted him up inside the back seat of the station wagon. Travis did not look back. He was very happy with the cheerios and the hay I had put in there for him.

I was subbing with a class later, and kept staring into space, hearing Dewey calling to him and feeling his heart breaking into a million pieces.

Dewey loved Travis from the minute he came home. A gentle big brother, always sharing all the hay. Travis loved Dewey too. They kept each other good company until he got Maggie.  So now Travis was free to take his friendship skills to the next lonelyheart.

Also he had to go because he had started butting people when he wasn't getting his way. A sheep's skull is a serious weapon, dude. Especially when aimed at the human nut area.

I used to complain at him everyday for busting into the barn when I'd open the door, or just being a general busybody. Now the barn is quiet and smaller without him. But it's not bad, it's just different.  I'm glad he has his weeds, and he's got a new friend and a family that will love him, and the space to be a sheep. Grazing all day.

When you make the heart of a horse eased by your fluff and your weaving through his legs, you have done a loving thing, Travis. For being there. You gave Dewey a year, and he is grateful and changed because of you.