Mother Teacher Daughter Horse

My current obsessions are when will I get time to write my Carrie Fisher thing, and what is it exactly I am writing.

And subbing non-stop. And then mothering after subbing, when I get home and I'm fresh, oh yes, with ringing ears from kids high-pitched voices, and organizing and looking intelligent (stress LOOKING, not being).

And then riding, because I like the routine of training, and the quietness of the horses, even the asshole one that is new and likes to be a baby and chew on everything, and eat everything on the trail, and not trot when I want her to but then okay she does. I still like the work of it, because it is just me, and we can only go really one speed, and it isn't very fast.

And the roses I get to see blooming, and the little Buddha statue we pass with the purple flowers now around it, and I breathe when I see it because it is calming, and the sky was wide open cracked with grey clouds and sunshine with sharp edges, and nobody was crazy, just me out there quiet and knowing the world was still here, all in one place and silent.

Then it's okay if the dishes have to put away, and then I can handle going to the mall so my youngest can get her first pairs of earrings, because it's two days away from when she gets to change her earrings for the first time. And this is worth spending time on, because it's the first time, and this is life.

All of it, every second, being there.