Well our old buddy Travis went to live with a lonely donkey. Is there really any more to say?
He has two acres of weeds to get started on, so I'm sure he's hitching up his (wool) pants and getting directly to work.
Dewey called to him when we walked him to the guy's car, and hefted him up inside the back seat of the station wagon. Travis did not look back. He was very happy with the cheerios and the hay I had put in there for him.
I was subbing with a class later, and kept staring into space, hearing Dewey calling to him and feeling his heart breaking into a million pieces.
Dewey loved Travis from the minute he came home. A gentle big brother, always sharing all the hay. Travis loved Dewey too. They kept each other good company until he got Maggie. So now Travis was free to take his friendship skills to the next lonelyheart.
Also he had to go because he had started butting people when he wasn't getting his way. A sheep's skull is a serious weapon, dude. Especially when aimed at the human nut area.
I used to complain at him everyday for busting into the barn when I'd open the door, or just being a general busybody. Now the barn is quiet and smaller without him. But it's not bad, it's just different. I'm glad he has his weeds, and he's got a new friend and a family that will love him, and the space to be a sheep. Grazing all day.
When you make the heart of a horse eased by your fluff and your weaving through his legs, you have done a loving thing, Travis. For being there. You gave Dewey a year, and he is grateful and changed because of you.
Thursday, May 11, 2017
Wednesday, April 26, 2017
One Small Step for Mag Kind
For all of you riveted by my progress with one small dapply buckskin mare, aged 4, Maggie is learning to trot. Julie is learning to not be afraid of her, which seems to help a great deal! Maybe it's learning to ask for what you want, in the kindest way, and then get tougher until she understands what it is you're cueing her for. Then she does it.
The first time I asked her trot under saddle she did and then slammed on the brakes and started biting me and then moving backwards at high speed. That was way long ago. That caused me to only walk her for like a month as I built up confidence and worked with her outside the arena and on the lunge and tried to get her knowing that the cue to GO means forward, not slamming in reverse.
The second time I asked her to trot off the lunge, under saddle, was a few days ago, and she still tried to argue with me, but after about half an hour, she started trotting at my voice, leg and crop cue. After almost an hour, I got her to make one lap around the arena.
Today I had her usual resistance at first, but after about 20 mins, she was trotting at my leg cue much better. We did a few lopsided laps, but they were laps! Posting even! I could feel her kind of see that we can work together, nothing bad happens. We will work on rhythm, just getting her to go and accept the cue was my goal. We'll get her steady. I have to always quit before I want to, because I want to end on a good note. It's hard to know when that is all the time. When is enough.
It makes me happy, though, on days when I'm burned out from teaching and all the noise, to have the horses to work with. It fills me in tactile and problem solving ways. And I like to see the results come creeping in, and I like to see who I can be and what I can do. They're big furry kids, and they're peaceful, mostly. A tiny bit bratty, but willing.
I also walked them separately back home, and they were yelling like long lost lovers. But once they get used to it, that should help them to know nobody dies if they're not together. It's the one that's left behind who has the biggest sadness.
The first time I asked her trot under saddle she did and then slammed on the brakes and started biting me and then moving backwards at high speed. That was way long ago. That caused me to only walk her for like a month as I built up confidence and worked with her outside the arena and on the lunge and tried to get her knowing that the cue to GO means forward, not slamming in reverse.
The second time I asked her to trot off the lunge, under saddle, was a few days ago, and she still tried to argue with me, but after about half an hour, she started trotting at my voice, leg and crop cue. After almost an hour, I got her to make one lap around the arena.
Today I had her usual resistance at first, but after about 20 mins, she was trotting at my leg cue much better. We did a few lopsided laps, but they were laps! Posting even! I could feel her kind of see that we can work together, nothing bad happens. We will work on rhythm, just getting her to go and accept the cue was my goal. We'll get her steady. I have to always quit before I want to, because I want to end on a good note. It's hard to know when that is all the time. When is enough.
It makes me happy, though, on days when I'm burned out from teaching and all the noise, to have the horses to work with. It fills me in tactile and problem solving ways. And I like to see the results come creeping in, and I like to see who I can be and what I can do. They're big furry kids, and they're peaceful, mostly. A tiny bit bratty, but willing.
I also walked them separately back home, and they were yelling like long lost lovers. But once they get used to it, that should help them to know nobody dies if they're not together. It's the one that's left behind who has the biggest sadness.
Tuesday, April 18, 2017
Mother Teacher Daughter Horse
My current obsessions are when will I get time to write my Carrie Fisher thing, and what is it exactly I am writing.
And subbing non-stop. And then mothering after subbing, when I get home and I'm fresh, oh yes, with ringing ears from kids high-pitched voices, and organizing and looking intelligent (stress LOOKING, not being).
And then riding, because I like the routine of training, and the quietness of the horses, even the asshole one that is new and likes to be a baby and chew on everything, and eat everything on the trail, and not trot when I want her to but then okay she does. I still like the work of it, because it is just me, and we can only go really one speed, and it isn't very fast.
And the roses I get to see blooming, and the little Buddha statue we pass with the purple flowers now around it, and I breathe when I see it because it is calming, and the sky was wide open cracked with grey clouds and sunshine with sharp edges, and nobody was crazy, just me out there quiet and knowing the world was still here, all in one place and silent.
Then it's okay if the dishes have to put away, and then I can handle going to the mall so my youngest can get her first pairs of earrings, because it's two days away from when she gets to change her earrings for the first time. And this is worth spending time on, because it's the first time, and this is life.
All of it, every second, being there.
And subbing non-stop. And then mothering after subbing, when I get home and I'm fresh, oh yes, with ringing ears from kids high-pitched voices, and organizing and looking intelligent (stress LOOKING, not being).
And then riding, because I like the routine of training, and the quietness of the horses, even the asshole one that is new and likes to be a baby and chew on everything, and eat everything on the trail, and not trot when I want her to but then okay she does. I still like the work of it, because it is just me, and we can only go really one speed, and it isn't very fast.
And the roses I get to see blooming, and the little Buddha statue we pass with the purple flowers now around it, and I breathe when I see it because it is calming, and the sky was wide open cracked with grey clouds and sunshine with sharp edges, and nobody was crazy, just me out there quiet and knowing the world was still here, all in one place and silent.
Then it's okay if the dishes have to put away, and then I can handle going to the mall so my youngest can get her first pairs of earrings, because it's two days away from when she gets to change her earrings for the first time. And this is worth spending time on, because it's the first time, and this is life.
All of it, every second, being there.
Thursday, March 16, 2017
Knit Wit
So I couldn't find anyone to shear my sheep since I live in LOS ANGELES and people WORK FOR A LIVING like in little cubicles, here, so I just got some scissors and four blisters and some serious skin rubbed off my hand later, I have a fairly sheared sheep who now hates me. I only cut him one time, but it did look pretty gruesome.
Travis is one year old, and he had started looking like who's that black dude with the afro, Larry King? Rodney King? Wait, somebody King, from the 70's. Anyway, he was looking SWEATY.
So now he's baa baa black sheep haven't any wool, and I have two bags full. I decided what the hell do I do with the wool, so I looked up "what to do with wool" and you wouldn't believe the huge amounts of terrible and useless things they showed pictures of. First was the animal rights sites that said sheep are being skin stripped which okay I'm not doing that but suddenly I had to SEE and can't UNSEE that. Travis is about as far from that demise as he can get, since he likes to sometimes wander into the house. Then I see that if you want to spin wool into a sweater (which I don't), you have to wash it, a bunch of times in a kettle, rinse it, dry it, pick it apart, pick all the dirt out (it would take hours just to pick apart ONE piece of wool, let alone two bags full), comb it out and then you have chunks of wool that you can make into ugly decorations that none of your friends would want.
Like wool coasters. Or a wool wreath. Or you can do a bunch of other junk to it where the end result is buying the Sleeping Beauty spinning wheel and making it into actual yarn to actually knit. I am a knitter but I barely even want to pick up the sticks in my hands to knit WITH, so I see the joy in getting the yarn already colored and clean and ready in strings at the store.
But I am not ready to throw out the dirty wool. I may wash it just to say I did, and I may pick it apart on some day that I really don't want to do something more boring like clean the house or play with the kids. heh. Then I could make a pillow or a comforter for the dog or something. Right?
But then, can you WASH that? Things that are all natural are like, way more complicated. They wear like sandals and have goatees and wear their shorts kinda baggy and ride bikes in the rain.
I just want to say that my natural inclination is to zip it into an old sleeping bag and say there ya go. Instant dirty comforter. DO NOT UNZIP.
Travis is one year old, and he had started looking like who's that black dude with the afro, Larry King? Rodney King? Wait, somebody King, from the 70's. Anyway, he was looking SWEATY.
So now he's baa baa black sheep haven't any wool, and I have two bags full. I decided what the hell do I do with the wool, so I looked up "what to do with wool" and you wouldn't believe the huge amounts of terrible and useless things they showed pictures of. First was the animal rights sites that said sheep are being skin stripped which okay I'm not doing that but suddenly I had to SEE and can't UNSEE that. Travis is about as far from that demise as he can get, since he likes to sometimes wander into the house. Then I see that if you want to spin wool into a sweater (which I don't), you have to wash it, a bunch of times in a kettle, rinse it, dry it, pick it apart, pick all the dirt out (it would take hours just to pick apart ONE piece of wool, let alone two bags full), comb it out and then you have chunks of wool that you can make into ugly decorations that none of your friends would want.
Like wool coasters. Or a wool wreath. Or you can do a bunch of other junk to it where the end result is buying the Sleeping Beauty spinning wheel and making it into actual yarn to actually knit. I am a knitter but I barely even want to pick up the sticks in my hands to knit WITH, so I see the joy in getting the yarn already colored and clean and ready in strings at the store.
But I am not ready to throw out the dirty wool. I may wash it just to say I did, and I may pick it apart on some day that I really don't want to do something more boring like clean the house or play with the kids. heh. Then I could make a pillow or a comforter for the dog or something. Right?
But then, can you WASH that? Things that are all natural are like, way more complicated. They wear like sandals and have goatees and wear their shorts kinda baggy and ride bikes in the rain.
I just want to say that my natural inclination is to zip it into an old sleeping bag and say there ya go. Instant dirty comforter. DO NOT UNZIP.
Tuesday, March 7, 2017
Little Drops of Water
Something weird is happening lately. I am actually enjoying riding.
I think falling off those years ago took so long to heal up the fear. And then adding a new horse whom I assumed would cause me years of torment (but I did it anyway) has been work, but after 2 1/2 months of working with her almost every day, I'm starting to know her, and relax.
Today on the trail I ponied her and rode Dewey and then on the way back, I got off him, got on her and rode a tiny bit. Then switcheroo again. Then when we were back on the little secret path I got back on her, and ponied him, and she is sleeker, more like a hot rod convertible than huge thick lumbering Dewey.
I had to think cautiously, I've never ponied Dewey, she's only 4 years old, new to everything, she's never ponied a horse either, so I picked my spots carefully, and I kept the rides short where she was the leader. The good thing about being careful is that you set yourself up for success. There's nothing wrong with little tiny steps. The Carrie Fisher song:
Little drops of water
Little grains of sand
Make the mighty oceans
And the pleasant lands
All I know is it is nice to see the flowers and see the butterflies and be riding a horse who isn't afraid, and to be helping the new horse learn her place and her job, and because of all this work eventually I'll have a friend along with me in the saddle, and riding will be even more fun because there will be chatter and company, and safety in numbers, comfort for both Dewey and I. He's so happy to have a friend in the barn and on the trail, it's like he sighs with the relief of company.
Maggie does like to see if she can be in charge each day - she will do what you say, but she's just askin. She is happy to be with Dewey, and see the scenery. And having a young horse to work with and teach all the cues to, and learn her likes and dislikes, and try and mold her into just a regular quiet old trail horse - this has made me a mostly humorous, stronger rider, which has made Dewey a better horse. Now I just ask him clearly for what I want, and he's happy to do it, where before I was slightly always terrified. Since Maggie is more hardheaded, I've had to be super tough, and it's changed my riding. Even though with her I also have to be very light with legs and hands, since at her age, she's just learning balancing a rider, moving forward happily and learning some rhythm. We're still only at a walk with a rider on, I figure I'll get her happy going forward at all gaits on the lunge, and happy going forward at the walk and then stick a few small trots in there when I think she will be willing and not slam on the brakes. (Her favorite trick.)
Okay, that's Mag and Dew news. I am fresh from being outdoors and exploring, even just the neighborhood trails. I feel good that I'm building up for the only other thing she'll have to do, which is take us down to the water and enjoy the wilderness of Hansen Dam. She's been there once!
I think falling off those years ago took so long to heal up the fear. And then adding a new horse whom I assumed would cause me years of torment (but I did it anyway) has been work, but after 2 1/2 months of working with her almost every day, I'm starting to know her, and relax.
Today on the trail I ponied her and rode Dewey and then on the way back, I got off him, got on her and rode a tiny bit. Then switcheroo again. Then when we were back on the little secret path I got back on her, and ponied him, and she is sleeker, more like a hot rod convertible than huge thick lumbering Dewey.
I had to think cautiously, I've never ponied Dewey, she's only 4 years old, new to everything, she's never ponied a horse either, so I picked my spots carefully, and I kept the rides short where she was the leader. The good thing about being careful is that you set yourself up for success. There's nothing wrong with little tiny steps. The Carrie Fisher song:
Little drops of water
Little grains of sand
Make the mighty oceans
And the pleasant lands
All I know is it is nice to see the flowers and see the butterflies and be riding a horse who isn't afraid, and to be helping the new horse learn her place and her job, and because of all this work eventually I'll have a friend along with me in the saddle, and riding will be even more fun because there will be chatter and company, and safety in numbers, comfort for both Dewey and I. He's so happy to have a friend in the barn and on the trail, it's like he sighs with the relief of company.
Maggie does like to see if she can be in charge each day - she will do what you say, but she's just askin. She is happy to be with Dewey, and see the scenery. And having a young horse to work with and teach all the cues to, and learn her likes and dislikes, and try and mold her into just a regular quiet old trail horse - this has made me a mostly humorous, stronger rider, which has made Dewey a better horse. Now I just ask him clearly for what I want, and he's happy to do it, where before I was slightly always terrified. Since Maggie is more hardheaded, I've had to be super tough, and it's changed my riding. Even though with her I also have to be very light with legs and hands, since at her age, she's just learning balancing a rider, moving forward happily and learning some rhythm. We're still only at a walk with a rider on, I figure I'll get her happy going forward at all gaits on the lunge, and happy going forward at the walk and then stick a few small trots in there when I think she will be willing and not slam on the brakes. (Her favorite trick.)
Okay, that's Mag and Dew news. I am fresh from being outdoors and exploring, even just the neighborhood trails. I feel good that I'm building up for the only other thing she'll have to do, which is take us down to the water and enjoy the wilderness of Hansen Dam. She's been there once!
Thursday, February 23, 2017
Neigh borly
I was playing with the Mags and Dewey out front on the street, because it had gotten too boring in the arena and I like to get on scary and green/untrained horses while riding on cement for the extra head trauma.
Dewey has a sore foot so he just stood there basically while I got Maggie used to being outside on a street where she had never been and in the saddle I have to let my body loose like I'm completely relaxed and giving and no problem when in reality I'm completely opposite of that, like every minute of every day in every way.
But it works for her, she doesn't know complexity, she only knows body language, so my body speaks to hers and we're doing allright. I even feel allright.
A neighbor comes out and talks to me, he's the guy who usually rides his bike around, like we're in Seattle. I like him. He's more of an activist, there is stuff on his lawn that says No on This or Save this Thing, someone who thinks more in an outward way, and I'm grateful for people like that who use their lawn for stuff I never think about. I'd much rather just lay on the lawn and look at the clouds. We have clouds right now because we've had rain.
Anyway, just try working in a new spot, when you get stuck. You might meet somebody new, and someday you might actually feel your own body language. If you can get that far. I hope I do.
Dewey has a sore foot so he just stood there basically while I got Maggie used to being outside on a street where she had never been and in the saddle I have to let my body loose like I'm completely relaxed and giving and no problem when in reality I'm completely opposite of that, like every minute of every day in every way.
But it works for her, she doesn't know complexity, she only knows body language, so my body speaks to hers and we're doing allright. I even feel allright.
A neighbor comes out and talks to me, he's the guy who usually rides his bike around, like we're in Seattle. I like him. He's more of an activist, there is stuff on his lawn that says No on This or Save this Thing, someone who thinks more in an outward way, and I'm grateful for people like that who use their lawn for stuff I never think about. I'd much rather just lay on the lawn and look at the clouds. We have clouds right now because we've had rain.
Anyway, just try working in a new spot, when you get stuck. You might meet somebody new, and someday you might actually feel your own body language. If you can get that far. I hope I do.
Tuesday, January 17, 2017
One Trick Pony
So my dumbass new horse decides she's done with riding as soon as I get on her. Her new trick is to flatten her ears, try to kick me while I'm in the saddle, and then back up scarily. Of course I get off when she does this, and she's so happy she learned a way for me to get off immediately.
So I read up on what to do with this new pleasure-filled experience, and it says it's common for young horses to be assholes, basically, when they don't know what you want, and then once they do know what you want, they will be assholes. Especially mares.
Hmm. Today I set Maggie up in the little back paddock with a chair and had a nice talking to her. Just kidding. I put the chair as my mounting block, and I took my time putting my weight on her, and taking my foot in and out of the stirrup, leaning on her, flapping her stirrups, and finally getting on and then right off. I did it a few times until she didn't look like she was going to try and launch me spaceballs up. The last time, I just got on and then sat there. My goal was to sit there and not ask her to move, just sit there and see if she'd be good with just THAT step.
I sat there for minutes. Then I lifted the reins a little bit. Just so she could see that nothing bad was going to happen, and we weren't going anywhere. Then got off and took saddle off and done. Then I took her for a walk with Dewey on the close trail, the 5th time. She did better, only one spook that kind of spooked Dewey and I thought here's where I die but it was okay. She used to stop many times going out, but today she only tried it about 4 times before I got on Dewey and then only one or two times once riding. I say that's improvement. Now that I know that's normal, I don't get mad. I just get her going again and ignore it.
Tomorrow I'll try to start some of the games on the ground, to get her respecting me a bit more. In the afternoon today I took her out in the driveway and ground drove her around, in and out the gate. She was NOT going for it - she does fine for awhile, then has a little fit like I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT and she tries to push her way past me and turn and evade me like a wriggly thousand pound fish, and I'm not all that good with steering on the ground so it took me a few times to get her re-aimed, but I was resolved that she would walk in and out of the gate without being an asshole before I'd quit for the day. By the end, she was walking in and out like it was the most boring thing in the world, like she was punching a clock. I put her away, happy she did what I asked but also knowing that it was only today. She was clearly doing me a favor, in her mind. We are a long way from her being boring every time. She does LIKE the challenge, though. I see it in her. Because she doesn't try to do anything really mean. She's scary, because she's big and silly and I don't know her, but it's only been a month. Pretty soon I will know all her tricks, and be able to manage her better, and guide her to her best self. I hope. I did today, anyway, for 5 minutes. Or maybe almost an hour total.
She is a really kind horse around the barn. She just has to learn her job, and that she has tasks, and that it can be easy or it can be hard. That's the part she's learning now.
Dewey is okay with being the forgotten horse. He was a good leader on the trail, and doesn't mind her sneezing all over him. He's okay with me steering with my legs and butt as I haul her with my other hand, and it's good practice. Who knew I had a lower body.
So I read up on what to do with this new pleasure-filled experience, and it says it's common for young horses to be assholes, basically, when they don't know what you want, and then once they do know what you want, they will be assholes. Especially mares.
Hmm. Today I set Maggie up in the little back paddock with a chair and had a nice talking to her. Just kidding. I put the chair as my mounting block, and I took my time putting my weight on her, and taking my foot in and out of the stirrup, leaning on her, flapping her stirrups, and finally getting on and then right off. I did it a few times until she didn't look like she was going to try and launch me spaceballs up. The last time, I just got on and then sat there. My goal was to sit there and not ask her to move, just sit there and see if she'd be good with just THAT step.
I sat there for minutes. Then I lifted the reins a little bit. Just so she could see that nothing bad was going to happen, and we weren't going anywhere. Then got off and took saddle off and done. Then I took her for a walk with Dewey on the close trail, the 5th time. She did better, only one spook that kind of spooked Dewey and I thought here's where I die but it was okay. She used to stop many times going out, but today she only tried it about 4 times before I got on Dewey and then only one or two times once riding. I say that's improvement. Now that I know that's normal, I don't get mad. I just get her going again and ignore it.
Tomorrow I'll try to start some of the games on the ground, to get her respecting me a bit more. In the afternoon today I took her out in the driveway and ground drove her around, in and out the gate. She was NOT going for it - she does fine for awhile, then has a little fit like I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT and she tries to push her way past me and turn and evade me like a wriggly thousand pound fish, and I'm not all that good with steering on the ground so it took me a few times to get her re-aimed, but I was resolved that she would walk in and out of the gate without being an asshole before I'd quit for the day. By the end, she was walking in and out like it was the most boring thing in the world, like she was punching a clock. I put her away, happy she did what I asked but also knowing that it was only today. She was clearly doing me a favor, in her mind. We are a long way from her being boring every time. She does LIKE the challenge, though. I see it in her. Because she doesn't try to do anything really mean. She's scary, because she's big and silly and I don't know her, but it's only been a month. Pretty soon I will know all her tricks, and be able to manage her better, and guide her to her best self. I hope. I did today, anyway, for 5 minutes. Or maybe almost an hour total.
She is a really kind horse around the barn. She just has to learn her job, and that she has tasks, and that it can be easy or it can be hard. That's the part she's learning now.
Dewey is okay with being the forgotten horse. He was a good leader on the trail, and doesn't mind her sneezing all over him. He's okay with me steering with my legs and butt as I haul her with my other hand, and it's good practice. Who knew I had a lower body.
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